Whatever hurts you hurts me too

"one of those days" when feelings got overwhelmed mood swings pms attitude angst sad emotional hurt worried paranoid stressed whatever you could think of, I have learn to becoming a believer of "one of those days", "Tml will be better" I don't know if I'm living in denial or what I am not lying to make myself feel better I just don't know whatever else can be done to make the self feel like as though everything is ok. It's corrupted. The heart, the faith, the believe, the hope but something in between all these are holding on strong. If you don't know that whatever hurts you hurts me too im telling you it does, so fucking much.

I've spent too much time worrying for your life your health but at the end of the day I realize you r not doing anything exceptionallt much . it kept me wondering a lot what have I been doing worrying pushing for is going anywhere . I am not asking anything good in return on me I just want your health to come back in piece . I've so far lived my life worrying for your life. Is it worth it, at the end of the day, is it fucking worth it.

Negativity is never the optimum way of dealing with any situation. In fact, in most cases it keeps you stuck in it, blocking real change. Anything that is done with negative energy will become contaminated by it and in time give rise to more pain, more unhappiness. Furthermore, any negative inner state is contagious: Unhappiness spreads more easily than a physical disease.

I need to be awaken. reading so much doesnt seems to make me wiser, doesnt seem to make me "put them into life" so why read you may ask, but then again, why not, I don't like to be negative and it is true sometimes taking part of me away in bits pieces, and you don't know when will they even stop. perhaps it wont even, if I continue with these negativity, you suck, so fucking much. go away, asshole.

I miss you

I always always is battling with the same old feeling whenever I am about to call it a day and simply just sleep. I always missed the same thing that misses didn't go. I miss my dog. Really a lot. I missed every little thing of him. I missed being a owner, buying little treats and shampoos. It's unbearable to always remember the loss. Because it shouldn't even just end there. You don't know sometimes when the heart and mind is conscious how hard is it to snuggle with his aliked soft toys and shut the eyes and go to bed. I am
Still tearing. Always. Alone. On bed to sleep. I'm always calling, bb I love you. JiE jiE miss you, so fucking much

1002;

You can hardly describe this feeling you always have on your birthday. This day can be very normal simple busy filled enjoyable or whatever, but you'll just feel special whatever whoever Gona makes it good or bad seriously. I haven't had a lousy birthday yet though, I'm kinda lucky in a way that I've a group of girlfriends which I supposed will never forget, a childhood buddy who will never fail to send me birthday cards, a BFF who always try to plan something, a boyfriend try to do something too, big small, he'll try. .. My family doesn't really have the habit of celebrating like for me or what but I really dont mind cos the love they shower are everyday, they don't just give extra love only on birthdays. So this birthday, I have a new special frien with me.. And her name is #xiuyu aka ding.

I cant handle I.

Why is it so bloody hard to at least maintain life's momentum? Is not that I have so much concerns unhappiness and such on life and humanity but because it's just me. I don't know how to handle me now. I have not been handling me infact. I let it have it's way but just sometimes it doesn't seems to
Go in the right track. I can't say I have not been happy but I can't also say I am happy. Fact is because I am
Not genuine happy. I do smile I laugh but I know very much all these are so much on the surface only. I do miss the kinda natural happy thing I used to produce but why do it seems so vague now where had it really gone to? I have been constantly worried, on a daily basis. I can't stop myself from being afraid worried and simply just live as it is today only. I try very hard to continuously remind myself. Sometimes i succeed, sometimes I don't . I know very well the roller coaster tracks my emotions have been running, but it just seems that I can't take over the control of my damn life. It's really in a mess. Theres so much things I wanna do, theres so many books I wanna read, research I wanna do, time I wanna spent with my family & myself.i am not ranting, not. I'm just wondering, why hasn't life be really fair for my family and I. Why?